


Never Alone

by lesbianpapyrus



Category: How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-10
Updated: 2018-07-10
Packaged: 2019-06-08 09:09:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15240075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbianpapyrus/pseuds/lesbianpapyrus
Summary: Hiccup realizes he shouldn't bear his sorrow alone.





	Never Alone

Hiccup jerked awake, face wet and heart pounding.

He felt damp all over, actually. Cold sweat. He wiped away the moisture on his face only for it to be replaced by tears. He let them fall, knowing it would be futile to try to make them stop.

The Chief of Berk sat up and leaned back against the headboard of his bed, closing his eyes. A snuffle in the corner startled him. Hiccup realized Toothless must still be asleep. His heart began to race again as images of a menacing, slit-eyed Night Fury flashed before his eyes.

Then he felt angry at himself. It wasn’t Toothless’s fault. He hadn’t been himself when he had done… _that._ The dragon wasn’t going to hurt anyone.

And yet…

As he watched the sleeping dragon, the urge to run became unbearable. He pushed back the blankets, put on his prosthetic leg, and snuck down the stairs without waking his mother or Toothless.

He hurried across the village, all the way to Brokkr’s Hold on the far side of the island. The very edge of the Hold overlooked the endless sea. Somewhere out there, Hiccup knew, was his father’s ship, a charred hunk of wood in the depths of the ocean.

Hiccup felt as though his grief could flood it. He had kept that grief all to himself; he hadn’t told his mother, his friends, Gobber, or even Toothless. He figured they had more important things to worry about than a depressed chief, and so did he. So he just did his tasks, smiled slightly when asked how he was doing, and excused himself from wherever he was when he could no longer hold back his emotions. He bore his sorrow alone.

He’d done this for weeks, and now it was too much.

For a few minutes he sat shivering in the light wind. He was cold and lonely, yet he couldn’t bring himself to go back.

Then someone very suddenly plopped down beside him.

“Astrid, hi.” Hiccup smiled wanly.

She didn’t smile back. “Hiccup, did you have a nightmare?”

He grimaced. “Let me guess. Mom told you?” Valka had been waking him up from the nightmares when she could hear him.

Astrid nodded. “You look cold.” She’d been smart enough to bring a blanket with her. She threw it over both of them, snuggling up to Hiccup’s side and slipping an arm around his waist. He lay his head on her shoulder. It was a while before either of them spoke again.

“How’d you know I was here?” Hiccup whispered eventually.

“Terrible Terrors on the roof woke me up again, third time they’ve done that in two weeks. I saw you in the square when I went to scare them off.”

They were silent again, until Astrid heard Hiccup try to conceal a sniff. “You okay?”

“‘M fine,” Hiccup answered thickly.

“No, you’re not,” Astrid said. “You haven’t slept well for weeks, you’re tired all the time, you avoid everyone when you’re not working, even Toothless. Don’t think we haven’t noticed.”

“I can’t—I can’t—I know it’s not his fault, but I can barely look at him after having one of those nightmares. And-and I hate myself for it.”

Astrid felt his chest heave. He was trying so hard not to cry… She cradled his head in her neck and stroked his cheek with her thumb. “Just let it come,” she whispered.

He did. The tears flowed and the sobs echoed as Hiccup poured out his heart’s sorrow on Astrid’s shoulder as he had never done before. “I just want him back,” he wailed. “I just want my dad back…”

Astrid planted soft kisses on his temple and hair. “I know, I know. It’s okay. You’ll be okay.”

Within a few minutes, Hiccup calmed, but Astrid didn’t let go. The Chief realized he was practically on her lap. “Doesn’t this hurt?” he croaked, voice raw from sobbing.

Astrid smirked slightly. “Hiccup, you’re a stick. I could carry you all the way back to your house if I wanted to.”

“Please don’t.”

“Maybe I will.”

“Astrid, I swear to Thor—”

“I was kidding.”

She absentmindedly stroked his cheek again and began humming an old Berkian lullaby.

Hiccup smiled. “You’d be a good mother.”

Astrid made a face. “Ew. Children. Not my favorite.”

“Oh, come on. You love kids. Except for Gustav. But I wouldn’t call him a kid anymore.”

Astrid rolled her eyes and smiled.

There was a warbling sound behind them. As the two awkwardly turned, Toothless popped his head over the crest of the small hill they were sitting on. He approached cautiously, sensing Hiccup’s unhappiness and uncertainty.

Hiccup untangled himself from Astrid’s limbs and the blanket and motioned for Toothless to come closer. “Hey, bud, I’m glad you could track us down. I’m sorry I left you…”

The dragon warbled gently again as he nosed Hiccup’s shoulder and lightly licked him under the chin. Hiccup scratched Toothless and closed his eyes, placing his forehead on the dragon’s. “I know it-it wasn’t your fault, you would never hurt me, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” A tear trickled down his cheek.

Toothless purred and licked at the saltiness. Hiccup cringed. “Not the face!”

Astrid laughed, put a hand on Hiccup’s shoulder, and patted Toothless. “I think we’d better get you two home.”

“Probably.” Hiccup stood, keeping a hand on Toothless. Then he held out his other arm. “M’lady?”

Astrid smiled and took it. They began to walk back toward the village.

“Hiccup?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t ever—never bottle things up like that again, okay? We want to help you. _I_ want to help you. I—I love you.”

Hiccup swallowed as tears filled his eyes for about the fifth time that night. “Okay, sure.”

“I mean it.”

“I know.”

A few minutes of silence. Then, “Astrid?”

“Mm-hm?”

“Will you… stay with me tonight?”

“Of course.”

For the first time in weeks, when Hiccup climbed into bed with Astrid next to him and Toothless at the foot of the bed, he didn’t feel alone.

**Author's Note:**

> one last old httyd fic. a bit sad, but hopefully has a nice enough ending for you all.


End file.
